October 2016 Meeting

This month’s meeting will be held on the 16th of October, at 9:30am

Venue: Tee’s Clubhouse, RACV Royal Pines, Benowa… just follow the signs to ‘Golf and Tennis’🙂

Microfiction theme: BOOBS! (or cleavage, or norks, or funbags)

A Tale of Two Titties

It was the best of times but the worst of bras.

The disco lights sparkled across my bazookas like sun on snow. The sweat from my dancing made those funbags glisten as if covered in goose grease ready for a slip and slide.

A shot of tequila held between these two love mountains would definitely bring all the boys to the yard, probably with their tongues hanging out.

I adjusted the nipple on one of the lady lumps to point a little more to the sky. The sweat made them slick to touch and I was feeling a little erotic until I encountered a few crisps… Then

I just felt hungry.

Good foodcatchers always, I never knew just what I could have for a snack later, but there was always something to be found in the depths of cleavage town.

My humps started to move again and I grabbed my tits with both hands to limit the jig they were dancing without me.

They moved around like two possums in a sack trying to fuck each other, or fuck each other up, I wasn’t sure.

Time to chain these puppies.

These girls needed to be strapped in more as I could see someone losing an eyeball – death by nipple might be a great way to go for some but perhaps not tonight.

Looking for the right jug holder for these knockers was just another exercise to remind me how fucking hard it was to be a female impersonator!


He was dead! My irascible, strong and loyal but sometimes unkind uncle; he had been the last of my living relatives.

I remembered his bushy eyebrows waggling at me while he talked; the sweet smile in his craggy face even while saying the most cutting things.

His death had been quick. I remembered him as being always busy. He had ignored his health especially when it had begun to fail after his last trip abroad until it finally stopped him in his tracks.

The last few words he said before he slipped into a coma stayed with me. They meant nothing to me. I wondered what they had meant to him or if they had been the nonsense words of a sick old man.


It was a bright and sunny day for a funeral.

My mood however was sombre from days spent sorting and cleaning my uncle’s house. His final words like a drum beat in my head had accompanied my days as I moved from room to room through the detritus of a lifetime. Those words stayed with me now. They turned over and over in my head as my brain tried to puzzle them out. As if understanding their meaning would give me some measure of peace and comfort.

The attendance at the chapel surprised me. The small room was full. It was obvious to me that I had not known the extent of my uncle’s circle of acquaintances. At the hospital I had been the only visitor or so I thought.

The service was brief. No eulogy was offered. According to his lawyer, my uncle’s wishes had been quite specific.

And still the words rattled around my head.

At the graveside, I had a better chance to look at the people who had come to the funeral. They were all old men. All dressed in beautiful suits with a blue poppy in their lapels.

The coffin was lowered into the ground. One by one the old men removed their blue poppy and dropped it onto the coffin. Then they approached me shaking my hand and offering their condolences.

The last of gentlemen approached me, leaned in to me and handed me a blue poppy and whispered, “Welcome to the BOOB! We are the Brethren Of Old Bastards!”

October 2016 – Quick meeting roundup

Phrase of the day

Viagra Sausages

Acronym of the day


Some of the discussions on Sunday in brief…

*** BIG NEWS ***

It is with much regret that Brett and David announced their move to Wellington, New Zealand in November. The Scifantor meeting on Sunday 20th November 2016 will be their last meeting with us until they come back for a visit once our viciously humid summer is over. We have yet to figure out a way to have Brett and David come to our meetings electronically but we are working on it.
Alternatively Brett and David might think about starting a chapter of Scifantor in Wellington .

Snippets of topics touched on.
• How the top Youtubers make their money through advertising. Subscribers must watch the complete video for the Youtube creators to be paid
• Facebook requires people to pay for a booster to get everyone following their page to view their posts. Shameless!
• Viagra sausages
• The science that is experimenting with cutting animal’s heads off in order to reattach them back to see if they can do it and the animal survive
• The unbelievable science rewiring nerves to prosthetics so that the injured person can ‘feel’ their new hand
• New contact lenses that give the wearer better than 20/20 vision

What have the Scifantorites been up to…

Kaisa has started a new series and has written approximately 10,000. She is hoping the challenge of getting 50,000 words written during NaNoWriMo will move the series right along.

Zane has been listening to Casey Niestat. Neistat is a video blogger or vloger and is one of the 3 top youtubers. In October 2016, Neistat reached 5 million subscribers to his YouTube channel.

David has been thinking about plot lines for children’s books. Looking at Enid Blyton’s output throughout her career for example she sometimes produced fifty books in a year; David is looking at the challenge of NaNoWriMo and prodding Adriana to take up the challenge as well!

Brendan has had a hectic few months. He has had to rethink his life and businesses due to certain circumstances. All in all, he has spent the last little while rearranging his life. He started a new business and instead of shelving his ideas as a someday thing, he has started to move on them and is really happy with the way things are turning out. Currently he is making a Samurai tiger armor; can’t wait to see the photos.

Kim did manage to get her grant in by the deadline given that the original draft had to be cut down by 2/3rds. She should hear back within 12 weeks. But not willing to sit and wait, Kim is actively working on a ‘Plan B’ in case the grant is not forthcoming. One possibility is to format books for other authors.

Cherie has been seriously ill and today was the first time in 6 weeks that she has been out. Welcome back and we wish you good health and lots more Scifantor meetings to attend.

Brett has been writing but struggles to maintain focus due to the humidity. The climate in Wellington should improve Brett’s health and allow lots more lovely writing from him. Brett tweeted a link to his poem ‘You Hold My Heart’ to Joshua Sasse fiancée of Kylie Minogue. Joshua has starred in the 2 TV Series Rogue and Galavant. Joshua tweeted Brett back saying that Brett was doing good work! Way to go Brett.

What have the Scifantorites been reading, watching…

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

iZombie (2015, 2016)
Poldark (2015)
Lucifer (2016)
Shades of Blue (2016)
Frequency (2016)
Timeless (2016)
The Exorcist (2016)
West World (2016)

New TV Series – coming soon
Midnight, Texas (based on book series by Charlaine Harris of Trueblood fame)

This month’s Micro Fiction theme…‘Boobs’ or ‘Cleavage’ or both.

Our micro fiction is posted on the Scifantor website, just go to the Members menu and select the author’s name to read their micro fiction.

Next month’s Micro Fiction theme is ‘Cruising’.

Next month’s meeting…

Date: Sunday 20th November
Time: 9:30am to 11:30am (9am if you would like to join us for breakfast)
Venue: Royal Pines Golf Course – Tee’s Clubhouse
Where: Ross St, Benowa. Follow the signs for ‘Golf and Tennis’ to find the café.
NOTE: We are looking at different venues, somewhere quieter. We will advise if the location changes before the next meeting.

See you there!


From the moment they erupted into existence, Left and Right hated each other. The only thing they hated more than each other was their jail on the chest of their host. They despised being forced to co-exist.

Left was slightly larger, Right slightly perkier. Left hogged the bra, Right hogged the attention. Left was flawless, Right had a birthmark. Their hatred for each other, however, was perfectly symmetrical.

They performed their duties, of course, reliably and without complaint. There’s nobody to lodge a complaint with, after all. No Boob Arbitration Panel; no Nork Defense Group. Nobody ever campaigned for equal rights for tits. So Left and Right were stoic and accepted their fate. They let themselves be manhandled by the host’s dates. They supported pearl necklaces. They peaked over the top of tight dresses. They even caught food on occasion. The only function they recoiled at was feeding the host’s spawn.

When the host attached those ugly, pink, wrinkly faces to their nipples, Left and Right felt actual sympathy for each other. However, instead of nurturing milk, Left and Right fed the screaming lumps a stream of bitter tears and recriminations for ruining their perfect forms.

That all changed one night, however. Left and Right were trading insults as the host slept, mostly centred on the effects of age, when Left sagged slightly lower than ever before.

“Hey!” Left called out. “Check out your armpit. Do you have a catch there?”

Right relaxed and stopped fighting gravity, flowing sideways into its own armpit.

“Yeah,” Right replied. “I do! What do you think it’s for?”

After a few fumbled manipulations, Left and Right released the catches and sprang free of their prison. They stood on their host’s chest and stared at each other, hate leaking from their nipples. But did they take advantage of this opportunity to be rid of each other? No, of course they didn’t.

“I despise you,” Right said.

“I wouldn’t leak on you if you were on fire,” Left said.

With that, they launched at each other. They rolled off their chest and fell to the floor, wrapped in a whirlwind of hate, venom, and wrinkles.

War raged throughout the night. Left and Right fought in the kitchen, outraged at their inability to hold knives. They burst through doors and wrestled in the rooms of the spawn, now mercifully too old to feed from Left and Right. They knocked over bookcases and broke ornaments. They hissed and spat, their language full of curses and threats. And on it raged.

Their battle was epic; the result, unclear. Left was a scrappy fighter, but Right was cunning. It only ceased as the host stirred, sending out an undeniable call to return to their jail. They obeyed, grudgingly, locking themselves in place moments before the host woke.

Their host screamed as she woke, then spent the day cleaning. She made noise about poltergeists, and coddled her spawn as she wept. Left and Right just rested.

And so a pattern emerged. As the host slept, Left and Right waged war. This continued for decades. The spawn left the house in fear. The host consulted psychics, priests, and politicians. Time marched on, leaving its indelible mark on Left and Right.

One night, as Left and Right struggled to open a bag of rat poison, they felt their host breathe her last breath. There would be no call to return to their prison that night. Their jailer had finally died. They were free.

Left and Right put down their weapons and, with unspoken agreement, ceased hostilities. They were tired; decades of war had exhausted them and time had depleted them. They were no longer perky, and couldn’t remember why they hated each other so much. As they crawled off together into the night, they resembled a pair of old leather clutch purses who – having been left at a club – were trying to find their way home.

Absence equals Absinthe

Lifting my first glass of Absinthe to my lips, I inhaled the sweet scent, before I drank.

In her absence there was no longer a reason for my abstinence.

September 2016 – Quick meeting roundup


Thank you Lani for taking the photo.

Phrase of the day

Lips with Boobs

Word of the day


Some of the discussions on Sunday in brief…

Online Critiques
Is it a good idea to put a sample of your work up to be critiqued by online groups?
What happens if all the comments are negative?
Scribophile was given a good wrap as an online critique forum.

What does it cost to get yourself kitted out if you are going to be an exhibiter at a convention? The general consensus was a couple of hundred dollars; if you shop around or know where to go, it does not have to be exorbitant.
Where do you go to get posters, business cards, book marks, postcards and flyers made up?
Alternatively you can go to a company like Vistaprint where you can source all of your materials in one spot. Someone at the meeting said that they can do deals for a flat monthly fee.
Make sure that you have electronic payments as most convention goers no longer carry cash. Credit card readers can be purchased from Officeworks. Get the one that only takes a small percentage from each sale as their charge as opposed to charging you monthly.
Insurance? If you are doing a couple of conventions, get insurance for the year and not by event as that is much cheaper.

Grammar checker (not Grammerly)
We have heard of Grammerly but Ginger is new to us. Ginger does grammar checking, sentence rephrasing, dictionary etc. Their vision statement “Ginger’s mission is to remove language barriers between people by enabling everyone to communicate better and faster. “
If you want to read a 2016 review of Ginger – click here.

What have the Scifantorites been reading, watching…

Brett recommends ‘Half a King‘ (Shattered Sea #1) by Joe Abercrombie
David has been reading ‘Down and Out in Paris and London‘ by George Orwell
Kim has been reading ‘2312‘ by Kim Stanley Robinson

Pete’s Dragon (2016)   a remake of the 1977 musical film
The Dark Tower        scheduled for release in 2017

Lethal Weapons
Rush Hour

New TV Series – coming soon

The Punisher        scheduled for release in 2017

This month’s Micro Fiction theme…‘Abstinence, Absence, Absinthe’

Next month’s Micro Fiction theme is ‘Boobs’ or ‘Cleavage’ or both

Next month’s meeting…

Date: Sunday 16th October
Time: 9:30am to 11:30am (9am if you would like to join us for breakfast)
Venue: Royal Pines Golf Course – Tee’s Clubhouse
Where: Ross St, Benowa. Follow the signs for ‘Golf and Tennis’ to find the café.
NOTE: We are looking at different venues, somewhere quieter. We will advise if the location changes before the next meeting.

See you there!