‘What on earth’s that?’ Frank was lying naked, face down on a massage table like contraption in the centre of the spaceship. He craned his neck to look at the almond eyed monster holding what looked like a bloodied piece of bamboo. The alien tapped it slowly against his other gloved hand ….
‘I think its … how you say … an anal probe?’ The alien grinned.
Frank blanched white and lost control of his bowels.
The alien laughed. ‘Ha! Works every time. Best way to get a stool sample.’ He patted Frank on the back. ‘You worry too much, Frank,’ he spun the bamboo in his hand. ‘This one we use on cows!’