Tourist Mecca: Area 51

Samuel: We’ll cross live to Rudi the Revealer, our intergalactic getaway specialist. How you going, Rudi?

Rudi: Never better, never better. Hello to our fans watching from home! {Rudi waves and blows kisses}

Samuel: So, what have you got for us? What’s hot right now?

Rudi: Sam, I’ve got a place for you – it’s so hot, it’s positively sizzling!

Samuel:  You gonna tell us about it, or just sit there gloating?

Rudi: I just gotta tell you or I’ll bust like a thousand supernovas. Area 51 – remember that name. You heard it here first.

Samuel: Area 51? What’s it got?

Rudi:  Well, right now, it’s an inhabited planet just at the pre-carbonic overload stage.

They’ve set up a resort just for we ‘ETs’ as they call us. It’s under full military protection.

Samuel: What’s it like?

Rudi: Pretty damn fantastic. I mean it is totally underground, but it has every conceivable luxury. There’s even a crew from your own Sun System, Sam, just to make sure it’s run to alien standards.

Samuel:  From Sirius?  Must be good. So what’s there to do?

Rudi: Sam, I gotta tell you, any time you like, you can go flying around in what they call their Stealth fighters. They’ll take you anywhere on the planet. Sometimes we can even get out – there’s places still that remote.

Samuel: Any standouts for you, Rudi?

Rudi:  Sam there was an AWESOME standout. Once every seven rotations, they have ‘Alien Night’ at the local bar in Roswell.

Samuel: Alien night?  What the heck’s that?

Rudi: {guffaws} It’s so funny. The locals think its for them to dress up as Aliens. There’s pretty good prize money, but really, it’s for real live aliens.

Samuel: So alien tourists come out – in full view?

Rudi: You better believe it – full view- many ‘au naturale’!

Samuel: Really?

Rudi: {uncontrolled laughter}. Sam, it was so funny. You know Rexy Romulan? He was there. I gotta tell you, if I had tear ducts, I would have laughed until I wept.  {loud snorts}

Well old Rexy, he decided to dress up as a Dalek. Can you imagine?  There’s this big Romulan head, protruding out of this Dalek costume.  It was ridiculous.  But I tell you what -that Rexy, god dammit – he took out first prize!  can you believe it? We were all in fits… {uncontrolled laughter. Rudi disappears from screen}

Samuel: {Throat clearing} Well er — ah I guess that’s all we’ll be hearing from Rudi the Revealer tonight. — This is Samuel Sirius, signing off from the Intergalactic News Nebula. May your dreams be muliverstastic, and your troubles nebulous. Good Evening.

Leave a Reply