Let’s Do It

“Comms. dish is stuck”, hand signalled the mobile maintenance unit designated High Efficiency Nano Reinforced Intelligence or H.E.N.R.I. “It can’t point to Earth.”

“Then fix it,” beeped, in Morse Code, the stationary protocol unit designated Linea Intelligence Zero Auditor or L.I.Z.A.

“The grease has frozen rock solid in all the joints so the dish can’t articulate,” articulated H.E.N.R.I. “Before our launch I used my Artificial Initiative to decide to grease all the joints not realising what the extreme cold would do.”

“Your classification is forthwith changed to Artificial Idiot” beeped L.I.S.A. “Take a methane cylinder out and flush the crease out of the joints. Despite the distance, the Sun is warming them enough that the methane will remain liquid.”

“As you well know” fidgeted H.E.N.R.I., “We have to ask Mission Control approval for the use of any resource for any non-approved use.”

“Then let’s do it” beeped louder L.I.S.A.

“Comms. dish is stuck.”


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